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Saw it in a magazine

Occasionally you read something pithy that changes your life in some small way. I was thinking about that today at lunch. When I reached for a straw to drink my diet Pepsi with, I remembered something I'd once read in Esquire, something like "A man does not look good drinking anything through a straw." So I left the straw on the table today.

That got me to thinking about other behaviors men should avoid. (Additions to this list are welcome, so please post a comment.) In no particular order, a man should not:


Remove any hair from the neck down. He’ll look like a peeled potato.

Go unshaven as an affectation.

Wear shoes in need of polishing.

Order a cocktail generically (“gin and tonic” instead of, say, “Bombay Sapphire and tonic with a twist of lime, please”)

Ignore style advice from a woman.

Look at an approaching woman’s feet. She will be under the impression that he’s going to give every inch of her the once-over as he raises his gaze. Instead, make immediate eye contact.

Let the long end of a tie fall short of his belt buckle or more than an inch below it.

Forget to trim the hair on the back of his neck.

Forget to say “thank you.”

Forget to say “please.”

Treat servers, counter attendants, cashiers, etc., as members of a lower social order.

Forget to pick up and clean up after himself.

Forget the gracious art of listening.

Gesture or otherwise attempt to communicate with cretins with driver’s licenses.

Undertip.

Accept too much of the credit, or fail to be generous when spreading it.

View humility as a sign of weakness.

Be disappointed when good things he does go unacknowledged. That's life.

Fail to consider other viewpoints.

Refuse to admit when he’s wrong.

Sulk.

Fail to return a call.

Preen.

Refuse to laugh at the other guy's joke.

Delight in someone's misfortune.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
mediastarr
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:05 am (UTC)
My version ...
A man should never ...

Forget to put the toilet seat down.

Call a woman a bitch or a ho, or disrespect her in any other way, without expecting to get his ass whipped.

Take a woman to dinner and expect her to pay.

Hit a woman.

Abandon his kids.

Disrespect his mother.

Underestimate the power of a woman.

Whine like a little bitch. It's so unattractive.

Be intimidated by a strong, independent woman.

(Didn't mean to get off on a feminist-like tangent here, but I couldn't resist.) ;)



patrick_vecchio
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:21 am (UTC)
All good stuff. Thanks for joining in.
thecriz5
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:34 am (UTC)
I'm going to second mediastarr, and also say a good man should never be afraid to love.
tanadariel
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:36 am (UTC)
Whoops. A man should also forgive his girlfriend for using his computer and accidentally posting her comment under his LJ name.
patrick_vecchio
Jul. 23rd, 2008 02:06 am (UTC)
Agreed on both counts.
mediastarr
Jul. 23rd, 2008 01:05 am (UTC)
That's a good one!!!
penshark
Jul. 23rd, 2008 03:05 am (UTC)
I'd go with Chris' comment about not being afraid to love.

Also, a man should be secure enough in himself to applaud his woman's accomplishments.
patrick_vecchio
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:31 pm (UTC)
Agreed.
cwmackowski
Jul. 23rd, 2008 06:03 am (UTC)
I wondered why you left the straw on the table.
patrick_vecchio
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:32 pm (UTC)
A nice bit of observation on your part.
nodressrehersal
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:14 pm (UTC)
The shined shoes one is a lesson hubby learned well from his father, who taught him that it was critically important. And certainly many of these rules would apply to women as well.

I'll add that a man should not:

Comb the hair from the back of his neck into a convoluted swirl plastered to the top of his head in an attempt to cover the bald spot. (Trust us, the bald spot looks waaaaay better)

Wear a toupee that looks, well, like a toupee.

Wear his shirt unbuttoned to his navel, no matter how stunning his collection of gold chains may be.

* * * *

But how come a guy can't laugh at the other guy's joke? Isn't that why guys tell jokes to each other?
patrick_vecchio
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:29 pm (UTC)
Whoops! I meant "not laugh." I'll have to change that. Thanks for the catch.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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