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Can you pass the test?

See question 5, answer D

U.S. CITIZENSHIP TEST                     Your name: (in English only):
Xenophobia 101
Professor Trump
Test will no longer be in effect after Nov. 8

Part 1
Multiple choice

1. America should not allow the U.S. to be entered by people from:
a.     Mexico
b.     Countries with a Muslim population.
c.     Countries where terrorist acts have been committed.
d.     Countries without bankrupt casinos.
e.     Pretty much every other country, depending on the news of the day.

2. Dictators like Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un and the late Saddam Hussein are:
a.     Ruthless strongmen.
b.     Anti-American.
c.     Threats to global peace.
d.     To be admired for their strength.

3. This year’s presidential election will be:
a.     Rigged.
b.     Crooked.
c.     Dishonest
d.     All of the above.

4. Which of the following phrases applies to the American media’s coverage of presidential candidate Donald Trump?
a.     Not very nice.
b.     Crooked.
c.     Dishonest.
d.     Rotten
e.     All of the above.

5. Name the best way to begin a presidential candidate debate.
a.     Calling for Americans to debate issues honestly, openly and thoughtfully.
b.     Presenting a detailed outline of an economic plan that would put Americans back to work.
c.     Revealing a proposal for increased international cooperation to battle terrorism.
d.     Bragging about the size of your penis.

6. Which of the following countries has not been invaded by Russia?
a.     Canada.
b.     England.
c.     Ukraine
d.     All of the above.

7. Which is the following is a body part for FOX News’ Megyn Kelly?
a.     Nose
b.     Arm
c.      Foot
d.     Whatever
e.     All of the above

8. During a presidential campaign, what is the most effective strategy for a candidate?
a.     Try to appeal to black voters by speaking to all-white audiences.
b.     Spend 45 minutes handing boxes of Play-Doh to your vice presidential pick at the site of a natural disaster.
c.     Say something controversial and then claim you’ve changed your position.
d.     Call your opponents names.
e.     Urge your supporters to beat up protesters at your campaign rallies.
f.      Ally yourself with former New York City mayors who have forgotten the year of the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers.
g.     Say the best way to achieve peace in the Middle East is by holding meetings.
h.     Persuade Sarah Palin to endorse you.
i.      Propose deporting millions of people from America and ignoring the impossible logistics and questionable legality of that proposal.
j.      Release a photo of yourself eating a taco salad on Cinco de Mayo, blissfully ignorant of the stereotyping represented by the photo.
k.     Refer to a black man at one of your rallies as “My African-American!”
l.      All of the above.
m.    All of the above, and more.

Part 2
Spelling (correct the misspelled words)

Part 3: Essays (must be written in English)
What is the most effective use of bankruptcy laws to screw subcontractors you hire for your business projects?

Explain the use of irony as it pertains to someone who weaseled out of serving in the armed forces criticizing a U.S. senator who was held as a prisoner of war and tortured.

Define the phrase “nuclear triad.”

Discuss the likelihood of another sovereign nation paying for a massive public works project undertaken by America.

Explain why the First Amendment is no longer relevant because it fails to curtail media criticism of presidential candidates.

Part 4: Extra credit
Name the current president candidate who put the “twit” in Twitter.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 3rd, 2016 01:14 pm (UTC)
The only thing we have to fear...is Trump, himself!
Sep. 3rd, 2016 01:36 pm (UTC)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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