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Here's my statement



Yesterday's junk mail brought an envelope from the NRA. On the outside, it said "Statement." My immediate reaction was "WTF?"

Inside was an NRA Membership Statement. One of my options was a five-year NRA membership—plus a free NRA duffel bag!—for $100.

As if.

Here's my statement for the NRA: Your organization is depraved, delusional and devoid of common sense. Take me off your mailing list. I don't want my letter carrier to get any kind of impression at all that I support your foaming-at-the-mouth insanity.


Frank Zappa's theory of the universe: “Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe."

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
song_of_copper
Jun. 19th, 2015 04:21 pm (UTC)
Ugh. :-/ The argument that guns are not inherently bad, that they're ok if used for some kind of 'good purpose' (as defined by who?!), really annoys me. Fair enough - anything, even the most innocuous object, can become a deadly weapon in the wrong hands, but the main function of a gun is to kill, wound or terrify. It has no function beyond those: even when used to provide food, there is still killing involved, and the potential for accidents. Heh, I suppose you could disable a gun and use it as a paperweight or something! But then it could still be mistaken for a live weapon, with potentially tragic consequences. Even a knife has beneficial/non-violent uses, but a gun does not.
anita_margarita
Jun. 19th, 2015 11:12 pm (UTC)
You are more polite than I am.
anita_margarita
Jun. 20th, 2015 02:54 am (UTC)
hell admit one
patrick_vecchio
Jun. 20th, 2015 01:33 pm (UTC)
Perfect.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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Wish I'd Said It

Nota bene: “Fear has governed my life, if I think about it. ... I always feel like I’m not good enough for some reason. I wish that wasn’t the case, but left to my own devices, that voice starts speaking up.” – Trent Reznor

“I hate to say this, but not many people care what you do. They care about what you do as much as you care about what they do. Think about it. Just exactly that much. You are not the center of the universe.” — Laurie Anderson

"The path's not yours till you've gone it alone a time." – William Carlos Williams

“Filling this empty space constitutes my identity.” – Twyla Tharp

"My definition of peace is having no noise in my head." – Eric Clapton

"The wreckage of the sky serves to confirm us in delicious error." – John Ashbery

"We are all here by the grace of the big bang. We are all literally the stuff of the stars." – Dwight Owsley

"For my part, I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of stars makes me dream." – Vincent van Gogh

"It is only with the heart that one can see right; what is essential is invisible to the eye." — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"Forget about being a perfectionist, because entropy always wins out in the end." – Darren Kaufman.

"Impermanence. Impermanence. Impermanence." – Garry Shandling

"Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion." – Mark Twain

"There is no realm wherein we have the truth." – Gordon Lish

"Actual life is full of false clues and sign-posts that lead nowhere." – E.M. Forster

“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." – Frank Zappa

“I try to leave out the parts that readers tend to skip.” – Elmore Leonard

“The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.” – Voltaire

• Journal title and subtitle: Ian Hunter, “Man Overboard”

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