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The Playlist from Hell

His name is Rupert Holmes. Be very, very afraid.

First, be warned: Reading this list may infest you with earworms: snippets of songs, jingles, TV commercials, etc. that, once you hear them, can't be put out of your head.

If you're feeling puckish and want to inflict such misery on the tens of thousands of people who regularly read this blog, then nominate your favorites in the comments section. All decisions of the judges are final.

That said, here's another installment of The Playlist from Hell, which had its debut on April 3. There have been some changes since then—big changes. Making its debut at No. 1:

1. "You're Having My Baby," Paul Anka. “Why people hated the ’70s” was the song nominee’s comment.
2. Also new this week on the Playlist: “Piña Colada Song.” The nominee’s comments: “Ooh, the worst song EVER is The Pina Colada Song. Worst. EVER.” The scary thing—truly scary—is that without looking it up, I knew the song’s real title is “Escape,” and the singer is Rupert Holmes. I did have to look up the date the song was released: 1979.
3. Making its first appearance on the Playlist: “Wonderful Tonight,” Eric Clapton.
4. Another new entry: Barry Manilow, “Copacabana.”
5. “Kashmir,” Led Zeppelin (no. 1 from the first Playlist.)
6. “Afternoon Delight,” Starland Vocal Band (no. 2 last time)
7. New: “Crocodile Rock,” Elton John. Listening to this song is like snorting cotton candy.
8. John Lennon, "The Ballad of John and Yoko." (was no. 5)
9.Bachman-Turner Overdrive, "Takin' Care of Business," which always will have a place on the Playlist.
10. (new) “Casey Jones,” Grateful Dead
11. (new) Bon Jovi, “Livin’ on a Prayer”
12. Chicago, "Beginnings” (no. 8 previously)
13. (new) Electric Light Orchestra, “Sweet Talkin’ Woman.” Feel free to substitute any ELO song.
14. (new)The Police, “Roxanne”
15. Creedence Clearwater Revival, "Heard It Through the Grapevine." (previously no. 6)
16. Meat Loaf, “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” In the previous list, Mr. Loaf ranked no. 9, but we hadn’t picked out a song for him.
17. (new) Boston, “More Than a Feeling.”
18. Foghat, "Slow Ride." (previously no. 4)

Note: Dolly Parton, “Here You Come Again,” has dropped off the chart.


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 21st, 2015 01:46 am (UTC)
It's your own fault that I have to hit you again with "Heaven on the Seventh Floor." (evil grin)

Also "Muskrat Love." (As it happens, my professional DJ days do not cover some of the most brilliant rock music ever.)

Edited at 2015-04-21 01:46 am (UTC)
Apr. 21st, 2015 10:37 pm (UTC)
All I can remember from "Heaven" is the one line where they repeat the title. It didn't do enough brain damage.

"Muskrat Love" was nominated earlier, so I must bow to public demand.
Apr. 21st, 2015 12:16 pm (UTC)
Who Let the Dogs Out? Baha Men. Ban this sucker - forever.
Apr. 21st, 2015 10:39 pm (UTC)
What kind of people played this song, and where? I never heard it (although I was aware of it), which means I hung out with the right people in the right places.
Apr. 22nd, 2015 12:43 pm (UTC)
Major League Ballparks... enough said.
Apr. 22nd, 2015 11:22 pm (UTC)
Major league ballparks? Another reason to love the national naptime. Oops, I mean pastime.

I learned yesterday that Zdeno Chara, the 6-foot 7-inch, 260-pound defenseman for the Boston Bruins, played the season's last three games on an ankle that was broken when it got hit by a shot.

A baseball player probably would miss 60 to 80 games, followed by a conditioning stint in the minors.
Apr. 23rd, 2015 03:18 am (UTC)
Talking smack...
Apr. 23rd, 2015 12:18 pm (UTC)
Here's another form of talking smack, only more humorously—and this form isn't restricted to jokes about "yo mama":

Apr. 24th, 2015 09:51 am (UTC)
Some of those are quite visual... :)
Apr. 21st, 2015 04:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, Mickey, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey Mickey!
Apr. 21st, 2015 10:24 pm (UTC)
Damn you.
Apr. 21st, 2015 10:04 pm (UTC)
"My Heart Will Go On" - Celine Dion

"Circle of Life" - Elton John
Apr. 21st, 2015 10:35 pm (UTC)
I never heard either of them. That's OK—be envious.
Apr. 21st, 2015 10:39 pm (UTC)
Dion belongs on the list on merit.
Apr. 22nd, 2015 09:18 pm (UTC)
"Circle Of Life" is from The Lion King, one of my favorite movies EVER, and anyone who wants to laugh at me can feel free to do so but I am standing my ground on that, because the subtle humor in it is superb, and I love the music no matter what anyone says.
One of your nieces took great umbrage to the previous inclusion of "Wind Beneath My Wings" because she and her friends sing it all the time. She said something about a key board that makes cat meow sounds but I am not sure what that was about so I will leave that to your imagination....
Celine Dion makes me want to vomit, so I agree on that one wholeheartedly.
Apr. 22nd, 2015 11:14 pm (UTC)
Hey: I know better than to even think about arguing with you and my nieces. A man's got to know his limitations, as the great philosopher of the Western world Clint Eastwood once said.
Apr. 30th, 2015 06:55 am (UTC)
I was off LJ for a few days (OK, more than a week) so I missed this.

I have to confess to a kind of masochistic relationship to "The Pina Colada Song." I like it just because it reminds me of the 1970s (even though it barely qualifies). But every few years I order a pina colada and then I remember I don't like them. But I still more or less like most of the others.

My new nominations:
"Feelings" by Morris Albert. There's a "Far Side" comic with a gorilla singing, "Peelings... nothing more than peelings..."
Anything by Olivia Newton-John or Bobby Goldsboro.
"My Ding-a-Ling" by Chuck Berry. You hate to see someone so influential record such a stupid song.

Oh, I could go on. And on.
Apr. 30th, 2015 01:00 pm (UTC)
"Feelings." That's not a suggestion—it's psychological warfare.

Bobby Goldsboro—didn't he have a song called "Honey" or something? It's surely list-worthy.

I had (blessedly) forgotten about Chuck Berry. Yeah. His performance is the equivalent of Jimi Hendrix playing "I Don't Like Spiders and Snakes," without the whammy bar, feedback, string-bending and showmanship.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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