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My paid LiveJournal account has a feature, "My Guests," that tells me who has visited this blog. Sort of.

Most of the viewers are tagged "Unknown guest." This is pretty exciting, really, because it raises all sorts of questions about who these people are. Are they literary agents getting ready to offer me a book contract because they've been smitten by my brilliance? (Oh-oh: At first I wrote "smitted." Must be careful.)

Are they classmates or teachers from high school who thought I'd never amount to much? Old college friends? Former girlfriends? (As if.) Is the singer Graham Parker watching because I panned his new record on amazon.com and he thinks I might give him better marks here? (Graham: I listened to it again yesterday. I still think it sucks. I couldn't even finish it.) Has the president sent CIA agents after me because I write critical things about his administration?

Are officials at the university where I teach keeping tabs because they think I might write something intemperate? Are former students still interested? Are writers of other blogs watching, jealous of my dazzling wordsmithing? I mention other bloggers like Charlie Pierce, Glenn Greenwald and Dave Zirin a lot here: Maybe they've noticed and are checking me out.

Who knows? Until I learn otherwise, though, I'm assuming all of the answers to the above questions are "yes." What's life without a little imagination?


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 4th, 2012 04:42 am (UTC)
You forgot aliens. It very well could be aliens.
Dec. 4th, 2012 04:40 pm (UTC)
If they are aliens, then they are from France.
Dec. 7th, 2012 03:49 am (UTC)
I wonder if it tracks views from the friends page.
Dec. 7th, 2012 04:03 am (UTC)
Only somebody working for the CIA would say something like that.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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