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Cold pizza. Cold.

Say what you will about Wheaties—cold pizza truly is the breakfast of champions.

By “cold,” I mean room temperature. I let the leftover pizza sit in the box overnight. The box acts like a cardboard incubator, and next day, the slices are ready to eat. Get up mid-morning or so, and your choice is between breakfast foods or cold pizza. If it’s a cheese-and-pepperoni pizza, I go for the slices every time.

My wife, who is a vegetarian, won’t eat pepperoni, so we eat veggie pizza, with toppings like thin tomato slices, mushrooms, onion, green pepper, banana peppers and black olives. I don’t like cold veggie pizza at room temperature, not this time of year. I’d rather heat it up, crisp it a bit. But in the summer, leftover veggie pizza that’s cooled on a plate overnight in the fridge is the best, especially on a hot day. Try it next summer.

I keep telling the guy who owns my favorite pizzeria to try selling veggie slices right out of the cooler in the summer, but he doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Reminds me of the time I told the owner of my favorite sub shop that he should try selling a bacon, lettuce and tomato sub in the summer. Well, he said in that stretch-this-single-syllable-word-out-so-far-it-takes-five-seconds-to-say-it-and-it-really-says-“no” drawl, he’d have to think about it. Cost of the bacon and all that. Six months later it was on the menu, and it stayed there. (Insert italicized Latin phrase here for “I told you so.”)


Yesterday, a colleague and I who team-taught the course gave our final in Media Ethics. The final consisted of watching the movie “Network,” which was virtually a summary-on-film of much of what we discussed in class all semester. I actually hadn’t seen the movie before, because I don’t like watching movies that are set in newspapers, television stations, etc., because when I was in the newspaper business, I dealt virtually every day with the forces of greed that are at the heart of the movie. And when I left the business, the film was so old that it had dropped off my radar screen. (Incidentally, I keep my radar screen in the cellar, under the pool table but on wheels so I can pull it out and see what’s on it every now and then. The last time I looked at the radar screen, I saw my cat had been downstairs and gacked a hairball the size of a candy bar on it. The hairball did not remain on my radar screen very long.)

(Back to our story, already in progress.)
Before we showed “Network” yesterday, we served pizza. Turns out the cheese-and-pepperoni pie went quickly; the veggie pie, not so quick, which surprised me because I thought there would be more students in the class who try to eat healthier or were vegetarians and so would prefer a vegetarian pie. I suppose I could have played journalist and, say, asked them, but my brain is barely functioning as my body crawls like a dehydrated runner to the finish line of a marathon semester.

At the end of the movie, two slices of vegetarian pie remained, so I put them in the box and put them out in my pickup truck out in the parking lot. It was somewhere between 11 and 16 degrees yesterday, so the pizza got chilled right quick. And then, with the idea that those two slices were going to be the coldest cold pizza I’d ever eaten, I left them in the car overnight. It probably got down to around 12. This morning, the mercury spiked to a balmy 17.

Lunch rolled around, and I fetched the pizza from the truck. It was too cold to taste the vegetables. Sadly, it was pretty bland. And it was also partially frozen. It was the texture of, say, Italian ice—a smooth but fine-grained freeze cold enough to hurt my teeth. But I ate it all anyway.

During this frost-jaw munching, though, I had a great idea. In the summer, instead of putting pizzas in his cooler, my pizzeria-owning friend should put the pizza in his freezer overnight, take the slices out, cut them into smaller wedges, and then impale them on flat wooden stick.


Remember where you heard that idea first.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 16th, 2010 08:07 am (UTC)
If you ever need to unload some unclaimed pizza, feel free to track me down...
Dec. 16th, 2010 02:36 pm (UTC)
I'll e-mail it to you as an attachment.
Dec. 16th, 2010 02:30 pm (UTC)
Whenever I see "pizza" and "breakfast" in the same sentence I think of the Pizza's Not For Breakfast video (warning: parody of domestic violence)

Personally I'm all for pizza for breakfast, though the cheese tends to feel nasty when it's cold. I'd rather heat it up and have melty cheese again.
Dec. 16th, 2010 08:19 pm (UTC)
Pizza certainly is for breakfast. Send the guy with the belt over my way and I'll show him.

I like the cheese when it has solidified, and solidified cheese is endorsed by the American College of Cardiologists.
Dec. 16th, 2010 11:18 pm (UTC)
Solidifies in your fridge, not in your arteries! *ding~*
Dec. 16th, 2010 07:58 pm (UTC)
I love cold pizza but pizzasicles is not doing it for me.
Dec. 16th, 2010 08:15 pm (UTC)
C'mon—you haven't even tried one.
Dec. 17th, 2010 04:07 pm (UTC)
Leftover pizza in the a.m. is hubby's favorite breakfast. Makes no difference the flavor.

How about on a skewer - Pizz-ka-bobs. All the better if your pizzeria-owning friend is named Bob. Except then it would be Pizz-ka-Bob's, right?
Dec. 17th, 2010 04:35 pm (UTC)
What would be really cool is if the pizzas on the skewer were those personal-size pan pizzas. Because the pizza would be cold, you could twirl the skewer to watch the pizza spin. Maybe the pizza toppings could be arranged so they could spell out a word or turn into a picture if the pizza was spinning fast enough.

Dec. 17th, 2010 04:40 pm (UTC)
Well yeah, that could work IF you wear the special decoder glasses that come with the skewers.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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