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The sporting life

So I'm walking out of the local sporting goods store this afternoon with my freshly minted fishing license, and in comes a guy with a beer gut so big it practically needs scaffolding, accompanied by an equally well-nourished guy. George Clooneys they weren't.

When I get outside I see a bumper sticker on their pickup truck: "Ditch the bitch. Let's go huntin.'"

Because I'm a bad person, this thought immediately burst in my head:

"She'll be glad to have you out of the house, pus-gut."

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
nokomisjeff
May. 1st, 2009 07:17 pm (UTC)
Classic.

Jeff
patrick_vecchio
May. 1st, 2009 08:59 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure how many characters like that you're seeing these days, Jeff, but something tells me Florida has got its fair share of good ol' boys too.

nokomisjeff
May. 1st, 2009 09:17 pm (UTC)
Pat,

I haven't seen any in NYC yet. What neighborhoods would they hang out in?

Yeah.....Florida has it's share of good old boys. Despite their different exterior, most rednecks are first rate human beings.

Jeff
nodressrehersal
May. 1st, 2009 07:36 pm (UTC)
He meant his dog, silly.
patrick_vecchio
May. 1st, 2009 08:58 pm (UTC)
His dog will be glad to have him out of the house, too.
nodressrehersal
May. 1st, 2009 10:49 pm (UTC)
That's ruff. (ba-dum-bum!)
tanadariel
May. 4th, 2009 12:40 am (UTC)
If that makes you a bad person, I'm a complete failure of a human being.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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Wish I'd Said It

Nota bene: “Fear has governed my life, if I think about it. ... I always feel like I’m not good enough for some reason. I wish that wasn’t the case, but left to my own devices, that voice starts speaking up.” – Trent Reznor

“I hate to say this, but not many people care what you do. They care about what you do as much as you care about what they do. Think about it. Just exactly that much. You are not the center of the universe.” — Laurie Anderson

"The path's not yours till you've gone it alone a time." – William Carlos Williams

“Filling this empty space constitutes my identity.” – Twyla Tharp

"My definition of peace is having no noise in my head." – Eric Clapton

"The wreckage of the sky serves to confirm us in delicious error." – John Ashbery

"We are all here by the grace of the big bang. We are all literally the stuff of the stars." – Dwight Owsley

"For my part, I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of stars makes me dream." – Vincent van Gogh

"It is only with the heart that one can see right; what is essential is invisible to the eye." — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"Forget about being a perfectionist, because entropy always wins out in the end." – Darren Kaufman.

"Impermanence. Impermanence. Impermanence." – Garry Shandling

"Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion." – Mark Twain

"There is no realm wherein we have the truth." – Gordon Lish

"Actual life is full of false clues and sign-posts that lead nowhere." – E.M. Forster

“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." – Frank Zappa

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