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The war on Christmas


It's the most awfulest time of the year

I'm declaring war on Christmas As We Know It, and I'm starting with this guy. If I hear "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" one more time, I'm going to hurl myself out a window—

Sweet Baby Jeebus! My mother-in-law and wife are watching Ellen in the other room, and I just heard the song as the show went to commercial. Now, I need to decide on which window.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
anita_margarita
Dec. 17th, 2015 10:12 pm (UTC)
Oh, now, now. Don't be like that. Yes, Andy Williams was an indifferent singer at best. But I am going to whisper a secret just between you and me:

I actually like his rendition of "Christmas Holiday." I like it enough to include it on my home-burned favorite Christmas songs CD. It includes the unforgettable lyrics:
Warm the hot chocolate
And bring out the marshmallow tray.


A marshmallow tray! My God! Did OTHER people have marshmallow trays in the 1960s and I didn't know about it? Was this the stuff of which memorable parties are made?

I'm also enchanted by this line:
Let's have a fling!
I'll give you my present, a wedding ring!


Perhaps it's because I'm from California, but "fling" and "wedding ring" are almost never heard together in the same sentence. Now that's songwritin'!
patrick_vecchio
Dec. 17th, 2015 11:25 pm (UTC)
Snarky commentary like this means your Christmas stocking will contain nothing but hairy pancakes.
anita_margarita
Dec. 17th, 2015 11:30 pm (UTC)
With cats, there are no other kind.
matrixmann
Dec. 17th, 2015 11:34 pm (UTC)
I see that I can be thankful to be not forced to listen to any FM radio at any day and that I successfully abandoned watching TV myself for most of the week, so I don't even take that very much notice of all the Christ-mess music madness.
And my own music - it's not very traditionally Christ-mess like...
patrick_vecchio
Dec. 18th, 2015 12:10 am (UTC)
I envy your isolation from this nonsense.
matrixmann
Dec. 18th, 2015 12:56 pm (UTC)
Well, that's it if you don't have to work in a facility hall where always some radio is on so that there is no complete silence or only the noises from the work can be heard.
The rest is - just keeping things switched off because you find them boring and making you dumb. While, admittedly, keeping this up with the TV sometimes is hard once you got used to watching much.

Edited at 2015-12-18 12:58 pm (UTC)
patrick_vecchio
Dec. 18th, 2015 01:14 pm (UTC)
My favorite time of the day is when I get up before anyone else in the house, brew a cup of coffee, sit in my favorite chair, and listen to — nothing. Contrast that with workplaces like you mention, especially places like supermarkets or stores with music constantly playing to make customers feel like buying more stuff than they had planned. This topic relates back to something a friend said to me a few years ago. For some reason, we were comparing modern America to the America we grew up in, and he summed up the differences in three words: louder, meaner, dumber.
matrixmann
Dec. 18th, 2015 01:25 pm (UTC)
Would just suit to any other place in Europe...
But, as you mention that, I find the circumstance with elevator music in the shops, it once was fashionable, but that mainly vanished from the shops again here. Exceptions are only the big shopping malls, shops where the buildings are still from that era and the same store still is in it, and in general those of the bigger supermarkets which more address at the more wealthy audience. Once that was a plague too, but obviously it seems like this was given up at some time in the great manner.
Don't know if that is the case everywhere in the country, but at least I know it that way.
sahlah
Dec. 18th, 2015 01:23 am (UTC)
I won't be home for Christmas - use lots of volume
patrick_vecchio
Dec. 18th, 2015 01:34 am (UTC)
Re: I won't be home for Christmas - use lots of volume
I needed that. Thanks!
(Anonymous)
Dec. 19th, 2015 02:26 pm (UTC)
In my youth I worked in an old fashioned department store right out of Miracle on 34th Street. It was so long ago the Christmas music was played on 8 track. They only had two tapes, Carpenter’s Christmas and Sandler & Young Sing Christmas. I am certain the experience must have certainly met one of the levels of Purgatory or Hell on Dante’s trip. What a great idea for an Existential Novel. A man dies and is forever trapped in a 3 room apartment, he can go into any room he chooses, but wherever he goes…It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year…sung by Andy Williams.
patrick_vecchio
Dec. 19th, 2015 04:05 pm (UTC)
My goodness—that would be sheer torture. My only suggestion would be that a different song would be playing in each room. The other two rooms would play "Jingle Bell Rock" and a "Frosty the Snowman," which technically is not a Christmas song but fits the season. You could call the novel "A Snowman's Chance in Hell."
(Anonymous)
Dec. 19th, 2015 10:23 pm (UTC)
Sounds better in French

Un Bonhomme de Neige's Chance en Enfer.
patrick_vecchio
Dec. 19th, 2015 11:30 pm (UTC)
Baudelaire's ghost should write it.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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