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The simulacrum of the feigned watch


The Transparent Simulacrum of the Feigned Image, Salavador Dali, 1938

I
I was in Buffalo to see the Kinks with three other people, and we decided to hit a bar to drink beer before the show, and I drank so many beers so quickly that the server cut me off, and my friends laughed because for some reason I still was sober, which explains why I reacted the way I did on that wind-flurried February night when a stubbled man in a worn coat stepped up to us after we left the bar and asked, “Do you wanna buy a watch?” and held it up, and I looked at him and said, “C’mon, man,” not mockingly, which I might have if I had been drunk, but in a tone that said, “I know where you’re coming from, man, trying to foist a trinket on some loose-walleted rubes, but this con is lame,” and he mumbled a wan “OK” from a turned head and shuffled into the unstreetlighted evening.

II
Someone sold me a watch and it looked genuine, as if from a bright dimension, and I wore it every day, but the long sleeves of my work shirts hid it and it was too valuable to wear with short sleeves after work because I didn’t want to scratch the crystal, gouge the gold, drop it or lose it, but as time slipped into another season, the watch stopped and the metal tarnished, decaying like a Patek Philippe portrait of Dorian Gray, and I realized the watch was a hurtful simulacrum because it had been presented as valuable, even priceless, something that would run forever, but instead it Dali-melted into mocking metal and glass on naked trees over the horizon and beyond the calendar, and a Lou Reed line came to mind, “Just goes to show how wrong you can be,” and I said to myself, “You chump.”

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
nodressrehersal
Sep. 15th, 2015 01:27 am (UTC)
How did you do that, two sentences telling short stories?
patrick_vecchio
Sep. 15th, 2015 01:34 am (UTC)
I'm less happy than I was about it because in the first one especially, I relied too much on "and," which anyone can do.

Anyway, I was just playin', trying something different.

I once wrote an entire newspaper column and only used one period. I don't have the clip for that one, though.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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“Filling this empty space constitutes my identity.” – Twyla Tharp

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"For my part, I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of stars makes me dream." – Vincent van Gogh

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"Forget about being a perfectionist, because entropy always wins out in the end." – Darren Kaufman.

"Impermanence. Impermanence. Impermanence." – Garry Shandling

"Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion." – Mark Twain

"There is no realm wherein we have the truth." – Gordon Lish

"Actual life is full of false clues and sign-posts that lead nowhere." – E.M. Forster

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• Journal title and subtitle: Ian Hunter, “Man Overboard”

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