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Crying Wolf


Mommy reveals to daddy that she's going to stop wearing panties, which for daddy is not a good thing.

As I may have mentioned before, my soon-to-be 89-year-old mother-in-law has moved in with us because she's not able to live independently anymore.

Last night she was sitting at the kitchen counter, working one of her find-the-word magazines, when Sherry decided we should watch a movie on Netflix and chose The Wolf of Wall Street. Scorcese, DiCaprio—sounded good. We knew nothing about the movie, though.

So we start watching the movie, and my mother-in-law is sitting at the kitchen counter, her back to us but well within earshot, and within what seemed like the first minute of the movie, DiCaprio uncorks just about every swear word I can think of, including the very choicest ones relating to sex acts.

Uncomfortable? Just. A. Little. Bit.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
anita_margarita
Dec. 15th, 2014 07:12 pm (UTC)
The only Scorcese movie I can think of that didn't involve those words was The Age of Innocence.

However, I am sure MIL knows those words already. A friend's very elderly, very proper, very Catholic grandmother was in the hospital at the end of her life, and suddenly all those words she had not said all of her life came forth in an impressive parade that rather shocked everyone. There wasn't room to hold them in any longer, I suppose.
patrick_vecchio
Dec. 15th, 2014 08:32 pm (UTC)
It probably would have helped if we'd paid attention to the rating.

That's a funny story about the grandmother in the m*****f**king hospital.
(Anonymous)
Dec. 15th, 2014 10:20 pm (UTC)
Had you ever seen a Scorcese/DiCaprio movie before? Just askin'. (The reviews said that movie had more F bombs in it than any other movie in history, by the way.) Have your brother tell you about the priest's mother who swore like the proverbial hockey player when he called to help her out with a little legal matter. Made him blush, it did.
patrick_vecchio
Dec. 15th, 2014 10:47 pm (UTC)
That's a fair question, but I'm not really a movie person. I watch 'em and forget 'em. The reviews were fucking right, though.
(Anonymous)
Dec. 16th, 2014 03:45 pm (UTC)
You probably couldn't see my tongue in my cheek :)
patrick_vecchio
Dec. 16th, 2014 04:08 pm (UTC)
No. You're a long way from here, and my eyes aren't so good.
(Anonymous)
Dec. 15th, 2014 10:31 pm (UTC)
In another life with another wife I was in Boston with my now ex-wife, her two teenage 14 and 15 year old sisters, and my mother in law. It was dusk and everyone except me wanted to go to Chinatown. Once there everyone wanyed o walk through and we headed toward some bright lights. As we turned a corner, I realized we were in the Combat Zone. In front of us was a sex shop with bondage gear in the window and a blow up doll with dual action. I was looking for a place to hid when my extremely conservative Catholic mother in law said,"Oh Look Girls!...a gift shop!"
patrick_vecchio
Dec. 15th, 2014 10:48 pm (UTC)
Gifts that keep on giving.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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