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Dammit

I was thinking tonight how nice it would be if I didn't replay every conversation in my head, solely for the purpose of picking it apart to figure out what I said wrong or what I didn't say that I should have.

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( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
anita_margarita
Mar. 19th, 2013 03:50 am (UTC)
I think that is preferable to replaying every conversation solely for the purpose of picking it apart to figure out how others wronged you and how you're the martyr.

(not that you are. But I am certain many people do.)
patrick_vecchio
Mar. 20th, 2013 02:25 am (UTC)
I was raised Catholic, which means I have an unshakeable belief that anything bad in my life is somehow my fault. So others can't wrong me: I've got it coming.
strwberryfizz
Mar. 19th, 2013 12:13 pm (UTC)
I feel you on that one, Pjv. One of my nightly rituals.
patrick_vecchio
Mar. 20th, 2013 02:26 am (UTC)
It is even worse for a journalist, I think, because so much of your work is done in public.
nodressrehersal
Mar. 19th, 2013 11:53 pm (UTC)
I wish I could offer something more tangible than, "Stop it! Stop it right NOW!" but that's about all I've got.

Unless you're purposely speaking thoughtlessly, carelessly, or with the intent to do emotional harm, (which I know for certain that you wouldn't do) and then regretting it later, it seems that there must be a kazillion other things you and that magnificent brain of yours could ponder. You've gotta stop those thoughts in their tracks and retrain that brain to think about shooting stars. Or bass playing. Or what kind of vegetables you'd plant if you planted a vegetable garden.
patrick_vecchio
Mar. 20th, 2013 02:32 am (UTC)
I might just start drinking again.
vivitalia
Mar. 20th, 2013 08:42 pm (UTC)
All. The. Time. Or in the case of interviews, I'll replay them for real, because that shit's recorded. Ugh.
patrick_vecchio
Mar. 20th, 2013 09:26 pm (UTC)
Recorded interviews: ugh is right. I had forgotten just how hard it was to listen to them.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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Wish I'd Said It

Nota bene: “Fear has governed my life, if I think about it. ... I always feel like I’m not good enough for some reason. I wish that wasn’t the case, but left to my own devices, that voice starts speaking up.” – Trent Reznor

“I hate to say this, but not many people care what you do. They care about what you do as much as you care about what they do. Think about it. Just exactly that much. You are not the center of the universe.” — Laurie Anderson

"The path's not yours till you've gone it alone a time." – William Carlos Williams

“Filling this empty space constitutes my identity.” – Twyla Tharp

"My definition of peace is having no noise in my head." – Eric Clapton

"The wreckage of the sky serves to confirm us in delicious error." – John Ashbery

"We are all here by the grace of the big bang. We are all literally the stuff of the stars." – Dwight Owsley

"For my part, I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of stars makes me dream." – Vincent van Gogh

"It is only with the heart that one can see right; what is essential is invisible to the eye." — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"Forget about being a perfectionist, because entropy always wins out in the end." – Darren Kaufman.

"Impermanence. Impermanence. Impermanence." – Garry Shandling

"Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion." – Mark Twain

"There is no realm wherein we have the truth." – Gordon Lish

"Actual life is full of false clues and sign-posts that lead nowhere." – E.M. Forster

“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." – Frank Zappa

“I try to leave out the parts that readers tend to skip.” – Elmore Leonard

“The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.” – Voltaire

• Journal title and subtitle: Ian Hunter, “Man Overboard”

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