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If I disappear

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I'm doing a favor for some friends, but it's OK: I work for HSBC

I needed to take lot of money out of my credit union account to pay a bunch of bills. When I told the teller how much I needed, she wrote down the amount, looked up and asked me, "What are you going to do with it?"

I thought she was kidding, but as I started to tee up an irreverent comment, I noticed by the look on her face that she was serious. This left a WTF? look on my face.

"The government makes us ask," he explained.

"Oh," I replied, more than a little annoyed that the government wanted to know how I was spending my money—legally. So, with a straight face, I said, "Tell them I'm laundering it for Mexican drug lords."

That should give me enough cover, because I'll be able to claim I'm an HSBC executive.
(Dirty money)

But if I disappear, you'll know what happened. I'll send postcards from Gitmo.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
tanadariel
Feb. 6th, 2013 12:50 am (UTC)
So, the government is allowed to ask--and document--how its citizens spend the money they earn, but asking and documenting which of its citizens own guns is an infringement on privacy?

Okay, disclaimer, that might be a false analogy. But I really am having difficulty swallowing this pill.
patrick_vecchio
Feb. 6th, 2013 02:12 am (UTC)
Remember, Dani: If guns are required to be registered, only registers will have guns.
nodressrehersal
Feb. 6th, 2013 01:03 am (UTC)
I cannot imagine the sum you must've been withdrawing that would qualify it as something the government needs to know about. Back in the olden days when I was in banking, we had to fill out a form for any cash transactions over $10,000. But not with reasons, just that a cash transaction over that amount had occurred.

Don't worry, you'll never even hear the drones coming.
sahlah
Feb. 6th, 2013 02:08 am (UTC)
Don't worry, you'll never even hear the drones coming.

Yikes - the truth hurts.
patrick_vecchio
Feb. 6th, 2013 02:14 am (UTC)
"The Lethal Presidency" is how the writer Tom Junod refers to this administration.
patrick_vecchio
Feb. 6th, 2013 02:10 am (UTC)
I have my tinfoil hat on, so I'll hear the messages between the drones and the people who fly them.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 6th, 2013 01:45 am (UTC)
You should have said, "Hookers and Blow!"
patrick_vecchio
Feb. 6th, 2013 02:08 am (UTC)
Damn! If only I'd thought of it ...

... spending the money that way, I mean.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 6th, 2013 03:55 am (UTC)
In a similar vein, hubby contacted our investment firm to cash out some of the offsprings' holdings to pay tuition bills... checks arrived, very clearly showing that they were from the brokerage firm (nationally known) and the teller at the bank asked him when he went to deposit them, "Where did you get these checks?" (I waved my magic wand and *presto* there they were) (I printed them on my computer) (I stole them out of somebody's mailbox, and, coincidentally, they were made out to ME)
Same bank, same teller gave me a hard time cashing a check for $1.93 (one dollar and ninety-three cents) because the firm that sent the check had transposed two letters in my last name.
W...T...F ??????
perhaps I should change banks.
t.
patrick_vecchio
Feb. 7th, 2013 03:12 am (UTC)
They're all just minimum-wage workers unquestioningly doing what they're told to do, thought and common sense be damned.

tsrensel
Feb. 6th, 2013 04:41 am (UTC)
If you end up in Gitmo, CMac and I will come bust you out. Nice of me to volunteer him, huh?
patrick_vecchio
Feb. 7th, 2013 03:10 am (UTC)
Send lawyers, guns and money.
tsrensel
Feb. 7th, 2013 03:26 am (UTC)
If we can't do that I'll send The Envoy instead.
patrick_vecchio
Feb. 7th, 2013 11:51 am (UTC)
The Envoy. Zevon's overlooked masterpiece. And I've always thought "Let Nothing Come Between You" should be played at wedding receptions. What a wonderful song it is. Offhand, I can't think of a bad song on that album.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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