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Roll over, Mozart

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While I was watching the NFL playoff games yesterday, I saw several commercials for DIRECTV that boasted how subscribers could record up to five television programs at the same time. Why? I can't think of five shows a week worth recording.

And in an unrelated matter, when Chuck Berry instructed Beethoven to roll over, why did he ask Beethoven to "tell Tchaikovski" the news? Why didn't he ask Ludwig to tell the news to, say, Brahams? Or Mozart?

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( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
nodressrehersal
Jan. 21st, 2013 11:47 pm (UTC)
Why? Because he needed a three-syllable composer's name in order to maintain the complex rhythm of his masterfully-written song.
patrick_vecchio
Jan. 22nd, 2013 12:33 am (UTC)
C'mon. This is serious.There's got to be more to it than that, or he would have used Franz Schubert, Joseph Haydn, Frederic Chopin, Vivaldi, George Handel, Claude Debussy, Stravinski, Vivaldi. Four syllables work as well as three.

But why the Russian? Hmmmm. Do you think Berry might actually have been a ... a ... Communist sympathizer?

nodressrehersal
Jan. 22nd, 2013 01:22 am (UTC)
You're treading in very dark waters, my friend. Beware. That's all I'm sayin'.
patrick_vecchio
Jan. 22nd, 2013 01:04 am (UTC)
And another thing: In the "Don't Wait, Call 8" TV commercials that show the cars banging into each other, why aren't air bags deploying?
nodressrehersal
Jan. 22nd, 2013 01:24 am (UTC)
This from somebody who can't find 5 shows to tape in a week?
patrick_vecchio
Jan. 22nd, 2013 01:42 am (UTC)
They show 'em all the time during the news. Now, Mrs. Smarty-Pants, I am going to list all of the TV shows I have watched over the past year and liked, but not enough to make them "must see TV."

(We will begin by not counting anything on HGTV, which is Sherry's default channel. And we will not count the local or network news.)

"Homicide Hunter" with Lt. Joe Kenda. I know it's on Tuesday nights, but I don't know which channel.

"Man vs. Food" on the Food Network. I don't know what day or time it's on.

"Most Shocking," which is that show where airplanes and trains and cars crash, things blow up, and all kinds of destruction and mayhem occurs. I don't know when it's on or what channel it's on. I found it quite by accident the other day while I had a napping dog on my lap and needed something to occupy what's left of my brain. It had a car chase theme. Excellent! This is the best show on television, not only because of the rampant destruction, but also because the narration voice-over is pure Cheeze. This show has a clone with a different narrator and is called "Destroyed in Seconds," and even though it's pretty much the same show, it is still Excellent!

That's it. That's all I can think of: Three shows, unless you count "Destroyed in Seconds," which makes four.

And I think "tell Shostakovich the news" would have worked too, rhymically—but: check out photos of Lenin, then check pictures of Tchaikovsky. There's an eerie resemblance. Do you still think Chuck Berry for no reason other than needing three syllables picked Tchaikovsky? I don't think so.








patrick_vecchio
Jan. 22nd, 2013 01:46 am (UTC)
Oh, wait wait wait wait wait wait. I forgot my second all-time favorite show, "Moonshiners," which may in fact be the greatest TV show of all time.
nodressrehersal
Jan. 22nd, 2013 02:08 am (UTC)
Oh my, I could weep real tv-lovin' tears at the sadness of your tv-watchin' life if I thought about it long enough.

No sitcoms? Modern Family? The New Normal? The Big Bang Theory? Those always give me a chuckle, although I wouldn't bother to tape an episode; but good ensemble casts. Co On, with Matthew Perry has actually been kinda fun, too.

Parenthood is my current 1-hour drama, and that's a never-to-be-missed show for me.

I really enjoy American Pickers on the History channel - and will watch Storage Wars, too - maybe that's because of my line of work. I can tolerate Pawn Stars, but more for the stuff, less for the Pawn Star goofballs. People think I should like watching Hoarders, too - blech. No thanks.

The Dog Whisperer - you don't watch Cesar Millan? Even I watch him, and I don't have a freakin' dog - that's how awesome he is.

Restaurant Impossible - hubby and I watch that all the time; same with Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives, and Chopped - all on the Food network.

I am rather proud of the fact that I've never seen an episode of any of the Housewives of Anywhere shows, or Bachelor /Bachelorette shows, or anything with a Kardashian. And the older I am, the less I can tolerate being scared witless watching tv, so no more crime shows like CSI or Criminal Minds. Too unsettling.

I must admit, I was drawn in to The Voice for the first time this year. Kind of a fun format. Yeah, yeah, I know...
patrick_vecchio
Jan. 22nd, 2013 02:19 am (UTC)
I've had a tough time watching any kind of TV shows after realizing that The Beverly Hillbillies may simply have been a ripoff of The Real McCoys. Think of it: "From West Virginny they came to stay/in sunny Cal-i-forn-i-a" ("they" would be Granpappy Amos and the girls and the boys of the family known as the real McCoys). Do you think it was a coincidence that the Clampetts also wound up in California? I think not. I am going to have to bring this up with my therapist.

Having said that, the greatest lyric line ever in any song of any form is "When up through the ground come a-bubblin' crude."

nodressrehersal
Jan. 22nd, 2013 02:23 am (UTC)
And I suppose you think Danny Thomas actually was Angela Cartwright's father, even though it was later proven that she belonged to John and Maureen Robinson and that they were all, indeed, lost in space.

Edited at 2013-01-22 02:26 am (UTC)
patrick_vecchio
Jan. 22nd, 2013 02:37 am (UTC)
I never watched enough Danny Thomas to make an informed smart-ass comment about him. But speaking about Angela Cartwright, just the other day I was wondering how Billy Mumy pronounces his last name.
nodressrehersal
Jan. 22nd, 2013 02:39 am (UTC)
This might help.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Mumy

This might not.
http://www.billmumy.com/

Check out the photography credits in the center of this page:
http://www.billmumy.com/mumy/galleries/music/index.htm

Edited at 2013-01-22 02:42 am (UTC)
patrick_vecchio
Jan. 22nd, 2013 11:01 pm (UTC)
So it's "Moo-my." I wouldn't have guessed it. His name reminds me of a Captain Beefheart song, "When I See Mommy I Feel Like a Mummy."

Photos by Angela Cartwright: You can't make up stuff like that.

(Anonymous)
Jan. 24th, 2013 05:42 pm (UTC)
Oil, that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea.
Thank you very much, now I have the theme from the Beverly Hillbillies stuck in my head!
Too bad they don't write theme songs for television programs anymore. I mean real songs, with words, not just notes. Who can forget
"Greeeen Acres is the place to be...." or
"They're the modern Stone Age Fa-mi-leeeee"
Even the cartoons had great themes - there was a Hercules cartoon that came on around noontime that had the greatest theme ever :
Hercules, winner of ancient glory,
Hercules, hero of song and story,
Fighting for the right,
Fighting with his might
With the strength of ten
Ordinary men!
Hercules! People are safe when near him.
Hercules! Only the evil fear him.
(sadly, I cannot remember
the two lines that go here)
Victory is here!
Raise a mighty cheer
For the Mighty
HERCULEEEEES !!!!
It was great and dramatic and it was all for a cartoon that probably nobody remembers but me. *sigh* I can still envision Herc flying off to Olympus at the end of each episode with his toga rippling in the breeze. What a man! Or god! Or whatever!
t.
patrick_vecchio
Jan. 25th, 2013 12:28 am (UTC)
See if you can remember who sang this:

Astro Boy takes a zoom
Off on an old lady's broom
Fighting evil
With a cleevil
It's the one and only Astro Boy!
nodressrehersal
Jan. 25th, 2013 02:20 am (UTC)
You're right, most shows now don't have theme songs with lyrics. The only exceptions I can think of off the top of my head are "Friends" which was a while ago, but still more contemporary, and "The Big Bang Theory" with the Barenaked Ladies.

Felix the cat, the wonderful, wonderful cat
You'll laugh so much your sides will ache
your heart will go pitter pat
Watchin' Felix, the wonderful cat.

I don't remember much about the actual cartoon character, but I remember very quietly fixing my Saturday a.m. bowl of cereal and watching cartoons nonstop for...hours, I think!

But even the instrumental theme songs of yesteryear seem more memorable than current themes: Bonanza, Hawaii Five-O, Mash, and my favorite: Mission Impossible.

patrick_vecchio
Jan. 25th, 2013 02:45 am (UTC)
In my life I have heard Johnny Cash singing lyrics to the Bonanza theme song. Well, I haven't actually heard Johnny Cash, but rather a recording of him singing. Alas, the only line I can remember is "Whispering pines mark the boundary lines of the Ponderosa ranch."
(Anonymous)
Jan. 25th, 2013 02:44 pm (UTC)
I have no recollection of Astro Boy. None whatsoever. But, I had forgotten about the Big Bang Theory -- that is actually a clever theme song. I especially like the way the "time line" across the bottom of the screen speeds up at certain times , such as the Industrial Revolution period - so much happening so fast. I like the show, too. They manage to wring a lot of laughs out of a small number of repeating ideas - nerds being nerdy, nerds trying to get laid, the overbearing Jewish mother...
patrick_vecchio
Jan. 25th, 2013 08:38 pm (UTC)
A colleague tells me Big Bang is "appointment television." But I've missed so many years of the show that I *can't* watch it. It would be like reading The Canterbury Tales without reading the Prologue first.
nodressrehersal
Jan. 27th, 2013 03:17 pm (UTC)
What I think I appreciate most about The Big Bang Theory is even when it's about (not) getting laid, the jokes aren't overtly sexual - I got so I HATED two and a half men, because it became so sophomoric and stopped bothering with even a pretense of innuendo. Blech.
patrick_vecchio
Jan. 27th, 2013 03:31 pm (UTC)
Damn! Humor that requires thought to get it. What a rarity these days.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 22nd, 2013 01:41 am (UTC)
888-8888 is a rip off of 444-4444, maybe Mattar should start legal action to protect his intellectual property. I know a person who named her pet rats after Cellino and Barnes, they were supposed to be lunch for her pet snakes, but the snakes died. Perhaps they were T-Boned, hit head on, or smashed into from the rear.
As for recording 5 shows at once, you would never miss an episode The Housewives of New Jersey, Ax Men, Pawn Stars, Storage Wars, .or Toddlers and Tiaras.... And every five minutes you are assaulted with either calling 444-4444 or 888-8888
patrick_vecchio
Jan. 22nd, 2013 01:48 am (UTC)
Those are all shows that the leaders in North Korea broadcast on state-run television to convince their people of how decadent the West is.
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